Not You (Daryl Dixon x Reader)
by FullMetalWhore
Summary: Season 3 - The Prison, when Daryl wants to go away with his brother Merle, including flashbacks from the reader at Hershels Farm...


Staying at the prison didn't feel right without Daryl. Ever since you joined the group, it was always you and Daryl going on runs together and fighting walkers. –It felt like it was the two of you against the world. And that became even more serious when you and Daryl became romantically involved with one another.

Right now, it was you, Beth, Carol, Hershel, Carl, Axel, and the Judith. Rick, along with the others, went out to rescue Maggie and Glenn. You didn't know what to expect when they all arrived, but something told you that not all of them would show up. That's how it always was. You learned to not expect so much as time went on. But you always expected Daryl, and he always expected you.

Often you thought about how you first met Daryl Dixon, and now you find it funny at how intimidated he made you feel, because he's the softest person you think you've ever met. Daryl had a strong, kinda badass look, he was a tough person, but deep inside he had many feelings he never told people about, until he met you. But it wasn't so easy at the start. It was hard for him to open up to you, but as the world got fucked up, the two of you got closer.

 ** _Flashback_ at Hershel's Farm:**

Daryl had went on a run by himself without telling anyone. You figured it out by the blood and dirt that covered his face and body when he came back, not to mention a few cuts. He stomped right past you and it looked like he was grabbing more weapons. Something was wrong.

"Daryl," you called his name. He ignored you and took a handful of carved arrows, putting them in the bag that slung over his back.

"Daryl," you repeated. Daryl turned around defensively,

"What?"

You stepped closer to him, "what are you doing?"

"The hell does it look like I'm doing," he replied and turned around again. You moved in front of him and blocked him from the weapons,

"Daryl, you're covered in blood and you're hurt. What the hell happened?"

"What always happens, just a bunch of fuckin' walkers. Get out of my way."

You reached up to check on his face for wounds and he whipped your hands away.

"Leave me alone," he said. For a while, Daryl would let you get close to him and help fix his wounds. Those were the best parts of your day: it would just be you and him, sitting in comfortable silence, as you cleaned his wounds. His distance from you was making you upset, but you remembered that Daryl wasn't too fond of expressing his feelings. You still didn't have a clear idea on how he felt about you, but you were sure it had to be something.

You sighed, "You'll know where I'll be when you decide to tell me whatever is going on."

You walked around him and left him alone. Daryl looked over his shoulder, wishing you would be the one to confront him when he's ready to talk.

Later that night you were sitting in your tent with a lamp on, reading a book that Hershel let you borrow. You tried to focus on the book, but your mind couldn't stop thinking about Daryl. You knew he had trouble with talking about his feelings, but there was no denying that there was something between the two of you. Maybe more than just a friendship. You expected him to react like this but you only hoped you'd both find a way to each other in that sense. You weren't so fond of talking about feelings either, but admitting them was a different story. You couldn't ignore the fact that you cared for Daryl _and you probably like him more as you should._

You heard leaves crinkle outside your tent and automatically grabbed your bow and an arrow. You put down your book and when you heard Daryl's voice, you jumped.

"Shit!"

"I'm sorry," you heard him say. He opened the tent, "it's just me."

"Fuck, Daryl. I thought everyone was asleep. Is it late?"

"I don't know. But I can't sleep," he said. You motioned for him to come in and he sat down next to you, to your surprise. _You blushed a little 'cause he was never that close to you, not even alone. You looked down, trying not to look at him, but he already started reading your face._

"You sleep in here alone?" he asked.

"Yeah," you replied. He looked at you in a way that gave you the indication he didn't like the answer, "I'm fine, though. I have a gun and so on. You know that I know how to fight."

"Hmm," he replied. It occurred to you that he still hasn't explained why he was here.

"Daryl, are you okay?" you asked, _still not looking at him._

He sighed and played with his fingers, "I wanted to talk," he said in a low voice.

You couldn't help but smile, "Daryl Dixon wants to talk to me about something?"

He scoffed, "I shouldn't _be here._ " and began to get up in frustration and embarrassment.

"No," you said, putting your hand on his arm, "I was just kidding, Daryl. You can stay. Please."

He sat back down next to you, closer than before. You looked at his face and saw that his cuts weren't treated. You got up and reached for your bag, taking out the first aid kit. Daryl shook his head,

"I'm okay. Reall _y._ " He spoke to you in a gentle _, low_ voice.

"Yeah, but, those might get infected. That's the last thing you need." The two of you changed positions so now you were facing each other. It was _an_ _awkward_ silence as you patched up Daryl. The only sound came from outside: the wind and crickets. Daryl looked at you as you focused on fixing his cuts and realized that he's never let anyone this close to him before. He felt his heart grow heavy in your presence, and he wished it was easy for him to say what he felt.

"Alright," you said softly as you placed the last bandage on him, "that's it." You looked at his blue eyes and felt yourself blushing again.

"Thank you." he said.

"So, what's up, Daryl?" you asked shy. He didn't say anything for a moment because he honestly did not know where to start. He sighed in frustration and broke eye contact. You took his hand and he flinched slightly, but soon held yours in return. You gave him a small smile and leaned in closer.

"I care about you, Daryl," you admitted to him, "more than I told myself to."

"Hmm," he said. He bit his lip and looked down at your lips before meeting your eyes again, "I think I feel the same."

You smiled. That was more than you ever wished for.

There was only a centimeter of space between the two of your faces. You looked at his lips and then to his eyes. He nodded ever so slightly. You kissed his bottom lip softly. Daryl placed his hand on your waist, bringing you even closer. He leaned in and kissed you in the softest way you ever imagined. You could tell he was still a little unsure of what to do, so you let yourself take a bit of control. He was gentle, his lips were warm, and his hand on your waist held you steady. You moved your hand up his muscular arm and let it rest on his shoulder.

You pulled back slightly and let your foreheads rest on each other. You were both slightly out of breath, staring into each other's eyes.

You were sitting in your cell when the others had arrived back at the prison. You were relieved to hear Maggie's whimpers as she hugged Beth. Your heart was pounding as you raced out of your cell to see who made it back.

Glenn and Maggie were alive, but hurt. You knew Rick would be able to bring them back. You walked down the stairs, almost tripping but catching yourself on the railing, and as you were expecting a remark from your beloved Daryl, but you didn't hear one. You scanned everyone in the room quickly and noticed to your horror that Daryl wasn't there.

You saw the look on Rick's face when he looked at you, it wasn't sorrow, so you didn't think that Daryl had gotten bit, but it was uncertainness. He looked a bit lost. You all did, but this was different.

Before you questioned where Daryl was, you made sure that Maggie and Glenn were okay.

"I'm so glad you're here, Maggie," you whispered as you took her in for a hug. You then looked at Glenn and placed your hand on his shoulder.

"Daryl?" you questioned, your heart pounding against your chest. Rick looked down and took a few steps towards you.

No one knew that you and Daryl had a 'thing' for each other. Except Rick and Carol, of course. Ever since you joined this group, Rick had always been like a second father to you so naturally, you told him that you cared for Daryl in a way you hadn't for someone before.

"We ran into Merle. We couldn't bring him back for obvious reasons and… Daryl left with him." Rick explained. You didn't want to concern the group or have them suspicious of your feelings for Daryl so all you did was nod slowly. You received a worried look from Carol. The group dispersed, talking amongst themselves, and you heard Carol follow behind you.

"He'll be back," Carol whispered and placed a hand on your arm, "he has to." she sounded like she was trying to convince herself, too.

You bit back the tears in your eyes, "I don't know, Carol."

You understood why Daryl would choose his brother over the prison after hearing the full story from Maggie. You knew that Daryl was a good person and after a while, you knew that Daryl Dixon cared about you. What you really wanted to know was if he thought about you when he made his decision. Also you thought that he might have played with you all the time, but you talked to yourself that that ain't true...

"No him, no me." Daryl stated to Rick. Rick was staring at him, hoping that by the look he gave him he would change his mind but Daryl was loyal to his brother. He had made up his mind. Daryl immediately thought about you and knew that you would be safe in Rick's hands at the prison. Safer than in his.

Rick walked closer to Daryl and whispered, "what about Y/N, Daryl? After everything you've been through together?"

Daryl broke eye contact and looked down, "She'll be fine."

Of course, you were always on the back of his mind after he and Merle took off in the woods. With Merle making jabs about the prison, he was starting to wonder if he had made the right choice. Then again, this was his brother, this was Merle, Merle was blood and he would put up with it just like how he put up with everything else. He gripped his crossbow tighter.

"Who was that name Sheriff Rick said before?" Merle questioned, a smirk on his lips.

Daryl gritted his teeth, "How did you hear that?"

Merle let out a laugh, "I hear everything, little brother."

"She's no one." Daryl spit out. But you were everything to Daryl Dixon.

"So it's a girl! Daryl's only getting some while the world is ending!"

As you were laying down on your bed in your cell, you started to question your relationship with Daryl again. Were you just a distraction from the madness and the cruelty of the world in which you lived? You couldn't help but think something like that. You knew it was wrong. You were sure Daryl cared about you. So then why did he leave? You understood that Daryl was close with his brother but, what about you? You never got to tell Daryl that you love him. It was just too precious. Every intimate moment you spent together was just too precious. You were afraid that once you said it, you would lose him. But now? It was too late.

A new group of people came into the prison with Carl's help. You immediately knew that Rick would not be happy with that. When Rick and the others came back, everyone was lead to the other cellblock for Rick to confront the group. As expected, he said no to them staying, and suddenly something in his eyes changed after he talked to Hershel. He was staring at the top of the stairs, yelling, repeatedly saying 'No!' and telling absolutely nothing to go away. You were freaked out, everyone was, and you knew it was a psychological side effect from Lori's passing. Your heart broke seeing him lose himself, and you held Carl in your arms.

The group of people ran out of the prison, which was probably their safest move. Rick stormed outside and everyone went back to their cell. You stayed in the room with Hershel, thinking about Daryl. With just one fatherly look, Hershel knew there was something bothering you.

"Why don't you go in and get some sleep?" he asked.

"That's all I've been doing lately. Just sleeping. I'm tired of sleeping, I'm tired of being tired," you said in frustration, "I'd rather be out there killing walkers. Or whatever threatens us."

"I know that the prison is under a lot of stress right now and stress is an understatement. But is there something personal that's bothering you, Y/N?" Hershel asked with concern.

You looked up and met Hershel's soft eyes. He crutched his way towards you and sat down next to you.

"Yes," you said.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"It's Daryl."

"He left, didn't he? Why is that personal to you?"

"Well, not only because he is a member of our group, of ouf family. I'm probably also in love with him. And he left."

Hershel raised an eyebrow, "Does he know this?"

"He doesn't know I love him. But we are secretly unofficial with each other, I guess."

"Y/N, Daryl made his choice to be with his brother. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you." Hershel reasoned. You didn't know what to think. The thought was comforting but if he really cared, he would come back. You thanked Hershel and helped him outside to speak with Rick who was in the field outside of the prison fence.

You waited until you were sure Hershel was safe outside of the fence to get to Rick. You held a gun by your side just in case anything happened.

A gun shot was fired. You ducked to the ground. More shots were fired. You saw an unfamiliar truck pull up and out came a man with an eye patch and a gun. You shot at him to receive a few bullets shot back. You ran behind a wall but as you were running you felt a bullet enter your side.

Time slowed down. The gun shots were loud and low to your ears. You heard Glenn yell to stay down, which you did, holding your gun close to your chest. You glanced down to your stomach and saw blood trickling out.

If you died, you were going to turn.

After what felt like years, the gun shots stopped but the gate to one of the fences opened, and from the shouts and moans, you knew it was a pack of walkers. You blacked out the minute you felt strong arms lift you up and carry you inside.

Shortly after passing out, you were still being carried by the strong arms. You opened your eyes to see Daryl holding you close, sweating, and running towards to Block C everyone was staying in. You heard Hershel yell for medical supplies and you felt your body being set down gently on a table. He placed his hand at yours and you were in tears the minute his blue eyes met yours. You shook your head furiously; you were sure you weren't going to make it. Daryl whispered your name and tightened his grip on your hand, kissing your knuckles.

"You better stay with me, Y/N." Daryl pleaded.

"I'm gonna die," you whispered, trying to look at your wound. Daryl shook his head and gently forced your head back down,

"No, you're not. You're not. You're just in shock."

"Daryl…"

All he could do was look at you. If he lost you…

No. That wasn't going to happen. The group saw too many people die. He would not lose you. Not you.

"If I die, you need to be the one to shoot me. Daryl, you have to do it," you cried out in pain. Daryl looked at you with his mouth slightly open and froze. Hershel yelled to him that he needed to back away. Rick moved him backwards and soon, you blacked out once again.

You woke up in your cell feeling sore all over. You glanced down to your bare stomach and saw a huge patch covering your side, blood staining the white fabric. Your heart began to race as you realized that you were still a conscious human being and you hadn't turned.

You started to cry tears of joy and fear. You covered your mouth and took deep breaths.

"Y/N," you heard a low, raspy voice call your name. You turned your head to see Daryl sitting on the ground by your side of the bed, his crossbow next to him.

"Daryl," you said and tried to get up but he shook his head and protested.

"Don't," he said, "don't get up. You need to lay down." His voice was rough and tired, making you concerned.

"Then come over here. Please," you whispered, your voice cracking at the last part. Daryl silently moved on the ground to face you. You turned your head to see how pale and exhausted he looked, which sent a pang to your heart.

"Daryl, go get some rest. Eat. Drink water. You don't need to be by my side." You reached out to graze your finger tips on his cheek and his eyes fluttered.

Daryl looked down for a moment, trying to piece together what he was going to say. He looked up again and into your eyes and replied, "I want to be here. Whether you like it or not. That's your problem, I'm your problem then."

You chuckled and took your hand back, pushing your head back on the pillow, "you're so stubborn."

"You're one to talk," he grumbled. You looked at his face again, guilt was written all over him. Daryl looked at you with his intense blue eyes and to your surprise, took your hand in his.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, gripping your hand, "Y/N, I'm sorry."

"Help me sit on the ground with you," you replied softly. Instead, Daryl moved on the bed and you moved your legs to switch position. As you tried to move, you groaned at the pain in your side, taking shallow breaths.

"Please, Y/N, just lay down," Daryl pleaded, placing his hand softly on your stomach, not wanting to hurt you. He gently pushed you down, and you tugged at his shirt collar to do the same. He laid down next to you and you linked your hand with his.

"Don't be sorry, Daryl," you replied, referencing to what he said before.

He looked away from you and you placed one hand on his shoulder to meet your eyes again.

"I mean it. I understand why you left."

"I never meant to leave permanently. I just needed to see Merle. I'm just sorry I…"

"You don't have to explain. You're here now," you said, "And Daryl?"

He looked at you and the look on his face gave you the indication he had a lot more to say. His brow was furrowed, his soft looking lips were slightly pressed together, and his eyes searched your face as if he was looking for an answer.

"Don't scare me like that. I'm not losing anyone else. I'm not losing you," he said.

You looked at him for a moment before he continued.

"Not you," he repeated. He turned to his side and rested his head on his hand, looking down at you. Daryl softly rubbed your chin with his thumb and leaned down to kiss you on the lips. It was quick, like Daryl was still unsure of his actions, but the kiss was sweet anyways. You loved the rare moments where he would initiate the affection.

"I love you, Daryl." you told him. Daryl kept his eyes pouring into yours and cracked a slight smile. His heart thumped against his chest as he kissed your forehead.

"I love you, too Y/N."


End file.
